Your Online Dating Coach

Dating Do’s and Don’t’s

Hi All!

Thought I would post some of my top do’s and don’t’s for online dating…

DO’s:

1) DO be completely honest in your profile.  The whole purpose of online dating, or really just dating in general, is to find someone who likes you for you..even with all your quirks.  Be honest in listing your interests, likes, and what makes you tick.  Yet, let’s take a moment and reflect on this actual profile found on match.com as to where wording plays an important in role in how you sound to other people:

“I have chosen my destiny and I have achieved almost anything I have wanted to achieve. I am a brave person and you will definitely respect me.   I am generous, warm, sincere, sensitive, sympathetic, and affectionate. I also have a great sense of humour. I promise you that you will laugh when you meet me.”

Yikes!  The above statement might be considered tooting your own horn just a bit too much.  And that was just the first few sentences of this guy’s profile.  Can you imagine what a face-to-face date might be like with this guy?

2) DO be positive.  Here’s an example of a actual profile post where a guy is expressing his excitement about trying out a dating website and what he hopes to get from the experience:

“I really hope this is successful for me and the person I might find. I’ve never done anything like this before, but I’m excited about it. I just really would like to meet someone fun to be with and who likes being with me for exactly who I am.”

I like how open and honest the guy above is… He’s got a positive outlook on what he is looking for and hopes to find.  That’s attractive to both sexes.

3) DO be realistic about how many bad dates you may have to go on before you meet the right person.  When I tried match.com, I signed up for one month to start with…  I figured if I was going to fully experience online dating, I needed to go on several dates with several different types of people.  There was one week where I went on 4 different dates with 4 different guys.  Phew!  Some were so discouraging, it almost put me off on wanting to continue to try the whole online dating scene.

Perhaps there shouldn't be a 2nd date..

In the end though, even if you don’t meet Mr. or Ms. Right in the process, I promise that you will walk away with a better knowledge of what qualities you like or dislike in the opposite sex.  That knowledge is priceless in your search and it gets easier and easier to determine a good fit from a bad one.  Each date you go on gives you perspective on how you connect with different personality types. There should be no settling…ever.

DON’T’s:

1) DON’T  underestimate that little voice in the back of your head saying “no”.  Does he seem overbearing and cocky just from his profile?  Does she seem needy and insecure? Are all of his profile pictures of him without his shirt on in his bathroom mirror?

NO and NO

Does she have on 3 pounds of makeup in her pictures and she’s blacked out her ex’s face with black box?  These are signs.  Big signs.  In fact, they even have a big, flashing “WARNING:  Do Not Proceed” above them.  If you get that feeling that you don’t think it’d be a good connection or you already see things in their profile that bother you or make you think twice, I say take that as a hint and move on.  There are thousands of other profiles out there where you don’t get those “warning” feelings just based on reading them.

2) DON’T go on more than 2 dates with the same person if neither of those 2 dates has the “wow” factor.  The reason I say 2 (instead of 1), is that I think it’s a good idea to give someone a second chance if your first date was good, but not great.  First dates can be scary and both people might be a little nervous and not exactly acting like their normal selves.  A second date is a good way to tell if there’s any possibility for a connection/spark.  However, if that first date is a big flop, consider not going for Round 2.

3) DON’T post old and outdated pictures of yourself.  This goes back to my first “DO” up at the top of my post.  It’s important to be honest.  Posting old pictures from your senior year of high school when you’re now 32 will only make for a very uncomfortable first meeting. Again, you want to be liked for who you are and up to date pictures are an important part of catching the eye of the right person.

This is not up-to-date...

So, these are just a few DO’s and DON’T’s to start you off… I’ll post more along the way.  Do you have any DO’s and DON’T’s of your own that you’d like to share?  If so, I’d love to hear them!