Some sites place an emphasis on how much money you make and some don’t.  Check out this article talking about it.  They bring up a good point – if you take the relationship to that seriously dating and beyond level, will financial insecurity or varying spending habits cause fights?

A lot of people think that OKCupid is a site for the “BiPolyPaganGothGamerGeek” crowd, and that therefore the stats are skewed.  I think those words mean Bisexual, PolyAmorous, Pagan, Gothic, WoW Nerds, and Kids-who-were-stuffed-in-lockers

I disagree with that.  The stats should hold true no matter what you’re interests are, whether that’s on Match, ChristianSingles, or OkCupid.  The particular phrases in the interests might differ – maybe Match users won’t have as high of a response rate for a word like “tattoos” or “zombies”, but the bottom line of the article stays true.   Make sure you find something from the other user’s profile that interests you, and mention it in the contact email.

Online Dating Investors are Very Happy

There are a few different ideas why, and I have some ideas of my own:

1. From an article in the Detroit News…”People want to be with someone when times are tough,” says Brian Barcaro, founder of CatholicMatch.com.

2. It’s far cheaper to date online (especially for girls ) than it is going out all the time and trying to find someone.  If you’re on Match.com, you’re paying around $30 per month.  But if you’re going out on the town with friends to look for someone, it’s going to cost at least $30 every night.  Plus, some say it’s less expensive to be with someone than to be single – which I don’t agree with at all, but hey, the theory is out there.

3. Online Dating is still (gradually) becoming acceptable.  I know when I first started, I was very hesitant to tell my friends that I met a guy online.  For some reason I felt like it was taboo.  Now, everyone meets online.  Remeber that stat I showed you before where the average online dater is 42?  Yeah, that means people who are 50 and older are dating just as much as 20 year-olds.

Any other reasons I’m missing for online dating’s growth?

They looked at over 500,000 (?!?!) first contacts on their site and figured out what to say and what not to say in an initial contact email.

How Long Did it Take to go Through 500,000 Emails?

First of all, the average reply rate was 32%, meaning about a third of the initial contact emails get a response – not too bad.  By the way, the average man-to-woman reply rate was 27%.  So the interesting part of the article is what was said in the emails to deviate from that average response rate.

Some highlights…

• If the word “atheist” was mentioned, the response rate was 43%.  And if “god” was mentioned, the response rate was 30%.
• If you mention connecting outside of the site, there’s a HUGE dropoff in the response rate.  They ranged from 10-18% when mentioning “gmail”, “chat”, “aim”, “yahoo”, “msn”, and “email”.
• Greetings other than “hi” or “hello” did very well – “how’s it going” has a response rate of 53% (wow!), “what’s up” 42%, and “hi” only 24%.
• This is my favorite.  Using slang absolutely destroys your chances of ever connecting.  If the pseudo-word “ur” is in a post, the response rate is a miniscule 7%.

What do you think of the article?  Any surprises?  Does it matter that OkCupid is a free site?  Do you think there would be any differences with Match?

So yeah, they met at a Detroit Casino, hit it off, and decided to go out on a date.  Well, she picked him up, and after they finished eating, he said he forgot his wallet in the car.  Well, he wasn’t exactly about to pay for the meal at all.  She gave him her keys, and instead he decided to drive off with the car.  Oops!  At least the cops found him not too long afterwards.

I’d classify that as a pretty bad first date.

It’s funny to laugh about that stuff, but it does bring up a good point.  When you’re going out with a guy for the first time, don’t pick him up.  Don’t even let him pick you up.  Maybe wait a few dates until you’re comfortable enough with him to drive in the same car.

5'10"?

Maybe they said they were “Athletic”, but in actuality they were just as much of an athlete as John Daly – with the exact same build.

Athletic Build?

But I’ve never been scammed quite as much as these girls.  I’m not sure which online dating site it stemmed from, but apparently a guy would find girls online, chat them up a bit, and after awhile would scam them out of $5000 each.  He told them it was for an investment in getting wine grapes from California and Italy.  Come on, really girls?  So my Online Dating Captain Obvious Tip of the Day is, Don’t give a guy you don’t know any money.  In fact, make sure he pays on the first date too

Religion Debate

One of the pros of online dating is that you pretty much already know where your date stands as far as politics and religion.  I think that’s important since those two topics alone can definitely be deal breakers if you find yourself on complete opposite ends of the spectrum.  So that might save you from the fiery debates that, although they can be fun, won’t really lead to a good relationship.

Thought I would post some of my top do’s and don’t’s for online dating…

DO’s:

1) DO be completely honest in your profile.  The whole purpose of online dating, or really just dating in general, is to find someone who likes you for you..even with all your quirks.  Be honest in listing your interests, likes, and what makes you tick.  Yet, let’s take a moment and reflect on this actual profile found on match.com as to where wording plays an important in role in how you sound to other people:

“I have chosen my destiny and I have achieved almost anything I have wanted to achieve. I am a brave person and you will definitely respect me.   I am generous, warm, sincere, sensitive, sympathetic, and affectionate. I also have a great sense of humour. I promise you that you will laugh when you meet me.”

Yikes!  The above statement might be considered tooting your own horn just a bit too much.  And that was just the first few sentences of this guy’s profile.  Can you imagine what a face-to-face date might be like with this guy?

2) DO be positive.  Here’s an example of a actual profile post where a guy is expressing his excitement about trying out a dating website and what he hopes to get from the experience:

“I really hope this is successful for me and the person I might find. I’ve never done anything like this before, but I’m excited about it. I just really would like to meet someone fun to be with and who likes being with me for exactly who I am.”

I like how open and honest the guy above is… He’s got a positive outlook on what he is looking for and hopes to find.  That’s attractive to both sexes.

3) DO be realistic about how many bad dates you may have to go on before you meet the right person.  When I tried match.com, I signed up for one month to start with…  I figured if I was going to fully experience online dating, I needed to go on several dates with several different types of people.  There was one week where I went on 4 different dates with 4 different guys.  Phew!  Some were so discouraging, it almost put me off on wanting to continue to try the whole online dating scene.

Perhaps there shouldn't be a 2nd date..

In the end though, even if you don’t meet Mr. or Ms. Right in the process, I promise that you will walk away with a better knowledge of what qualities you like or dislike in the opposite sex.  That knowledge is priceless in your search and it gets easier and easier to determine a good fit from a bad one.  Each date you go on gives you perspective on how you connect with different personality types. There should be no settling…ever.

DON’T’s:

1) DON’T  underestimate that little voice in the back of your head saying “no”.  Does he seem overbearing and cocky just from his profile?  Does she seem needy and insecure? Are all of his profile pictures of him without his shirt on in his bathroom mirror?

NO and NO

Does she have on 3 pounds of makeup in her pictures and she’s blacked out her ex’s face with black box?  These are signs.  Big signs.  In fact, they even have a big, flashing “WARNING:  Do Not Proceed” above them.  If you get that feeling that you don’t think it’d be a good connection or you already see things in their profile that bother you or make you think twice, I say take that as a hint and move on.  There are thousands of other profiles out there where you don’t get those “warning” feelings just based on reading them.

2) DON’T go on more than 2 dates with the same person if neither of those 2 dates has the “wow” factor.  The reason I say 2 (instead of 1), is that I think it’s a good idea to give someone a second chance if your first date was good, but not great.  First dates can be scary and both people might be a little nervous and not exactly acting like their normal selves.  A second date is a good way to tell if there’s any possibility for a connection/spark.  However, if that first date is a big flop, consider not going for Round 2.

3) DON’T post old and outdated pictures of yourself.  This goes back to my first “DO” up at the top of my post.  It’s important to be honest.  Posting old pictures from your senior year of high school when you’re now 32 will only make for a very uncomfortable first meeting. Again, you want to be liked for who you are and up to date pictures are an important part of catching the eye of the right person.

This is not up-to-date...

So, these are just a few DO’s and DON’T’s to start you off… I’ll post more along the way.  Do you have any DO’s and DON’T’s of your own that you’d like to share?  If so, I’d love to hear them!

Online Dating Fail

Obvious tip of the day…Don’t do that if you’re serious about finding someone.  Very funny though.